


The Explosion in The Lab

by 666Dubhe



Category: Bones (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Jeff Dunham, More Crack!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-05
Updated: 2013-01-05
Packaged: 2017-11-23 19:22:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/625682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/666Dubhe/pseuds/666Dubhe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Booth isn't the Booth as we know him. </p><p>Pure crack! Beware!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Explosion in The Lab

Booth walked towards the Jeffersonian institute. He looked very happy, finally he would do what he had been waiting for all those years. He whistled a funny melody.

“Hi, George!” he said smiling to the guard standing at the door of the Jeffersonian. The guard worked there much longer then Booth did. He was like 60 years old, Booth guessed. He felled a sudden pang at the thought he’d never be that old.

“Good morning, Booth. How are you?” George answered. 

“Never better!” Booth showed his identity card and walked into the building. Whistling again he walked towards Bones’ crew working on another dead body. He wondered what the victim died of.

“Hey, guys!” he shouted to Hodgins, Angela, Cam and another student. He hadn’t seen the student before. Another new guy, he sighed.

“Yow, Booth. What’s up?” Hodgins answered. Booth ignored him and looked around, searching for Bones. He didn’t see her.

“Where’s Bones?” he asked “Where’s my little pumpkin?” They had a relationship for over a year and a half now.

“Booth!” Cam whined. She didn’t like that the two of them were together. Booth thought that it was just jealousy.

“Sorry,” he replied with a sort of innocent grin on his face. Cam had always loved that look when they were still a couple.

“I, euhm… I need to tell her something important. Where can I find her?”

“She went looking for forensic evidence on the crime scene. She will be back in a little more than two hours.” Angela answered his question.

“Do you have a piece of paper?” he didn’t wait for an answer but went straight to Bones’ office. He took a pen and a piece of paper and quickly wrote something down.

“Almost finished,” he muttered to himself.

Now the easy part. He walked slowly towards the crew. They were on a special platform where they examined the body. Normally you need to show your id to enter the platform, otherwise an alarm goes off.

And that’s exactly what happened.

“Booth, you can’t come …” Angela’s words were cut off by Booth.

“I need to tell you guys something” He got a headache from the siren. But it didn’t matter. It wouldn't be long now.

“What’s going on?” Hodgins asked, worry starting to show on his face. Booth was acting strange.

“Shut up!!” Booth growled.

“Listen now. My name isn’t Seeley Booth.”

“What are you talking about?”

“What do you mean?” Cam and Angela talked at the same time. They were starting to get worried by Booths sudden change. He had never talked to them like that before.

“What do I mean? I mean I lied about everything. My name, my hopes and dreams, the people I love… My whole life was a lie. Just to get to this special moment. You all think you know me, but you don’t.”

“I… I…I don’t get it,” the young student stuttered.

“Shut up!” Angela, Cam and Hodgins yelled at the boy.

“I mean,” Booth said annoyed “that I was adopted by Arabian people. Seeley is just my official name, they never called me that. My real name is - ”

“Wow, hold right there. What the hell are you talking about?” Cam interrupted him.

“Why won’t you just shut the fuck up!”he screamed, now furious. “My name is Ahmed, and I’m a terrorist!”

Hodgins started laughing,

“you’re kidding right?” They all looked at him in anger but he just couldn’t stop, it all just sounded so ridiculous. But the laughing stopped as soon Booth opened his jacket.

The young student fainted, Hodgins' mouth fell open and he whispered,

“Wow...” They couldn’t do anything but stare, not able to move, at the bombs circling Booths body. Booth smiled.

“say cheese, guys” and he pressed the explosion-button…

Nothing happened. No sound, no explosion, nothing.

“No, no… this isn’t possible… this can’t be…” Booth started to panic. He kept pushing the button, but the bombs still didn’t explode. The guards, already startled by the alarm going off, were now fully running towards the commotion.

“Booth, don’t do this, please!” Cam was begging in fear. She was crying. Angela moved closer to Hodgins, her body pressing against his and her hands gripping his arms.

Hodgins started laughing. He saw a complot in everything, but he had never, ever seen this coming. Somewhere in his mind he still believed Booth would suddenly start to laugh and say, hey guys! Happy April first! Even though it wasn’t April yet.

“I really don’t see the humor in this, Hodgins!” Angela yelled hysterical.

Then it all ended.

 

_Half an hour later…_

Bones parked her car on the parking lot with her name on. She stepped out off her car and walked towards the Jeffersonian. There hadn’t been much evidence on the crime scene. This case wouldn’t be an easy one.

“What’s all the commotion about?” she muttered to herself.

There was smoke coming from the roof and the police and fire department were there. What happened?

“Excuse me, Miss , but you can’t enter.” A young police officer stopped her. He looked troubled.

“Do you know who I am?” Bones frowned, “My name is Temperance Brennan, I work here" The officer looked surprised.

“Now, tell me what’s going on. Why can’t I enter? Is there a fire or something?” Probably one of Hodgins’ experiments that hadn’t gone exactly as planned.The officer seemed to hesitate. He looked back at the building for a second and turned back to Bones.

“There seems to have been an explosion in – well, the lab, you’re area of the building.” He swallowed, his adams apple bobbing in his throat.

Oh god. Angela, Hodgins, Cam… Booth? Had he been in? Please, god no!

“Miss” the officer tried to stop her, but she was already running to the building.

Smoke met her at the entrance. She coughed and looked around, the smoke already making her eyes sting.

She saw George, the guard for as long as she could remember, sitting in an ambulance, a blanket draped around his shoulders and a bottle of water in his hand.

“George? What’s going on?” the fear for her friends, her _only_ friends, was clogging up her throat and a scared sob threatened to escape.

The older man just looked at her sadly. “I was just saying hi to Booth, he was just inside for a couple of minutes and then I heard the alarms. I… I don’t know what happened, but suddenly there was this huge explosion.” He sagged, turning his face away from the young doctor. A tear escaped his eyes.

She couldn’t breathe, everything was turning black before her eyes. Her knees buckled and the young cop that had followed her caught her just as she fell.

None of her friends had made it out of there. The explosion had been minimal, but they had all been close to the source, Booth.

She couldn’t believe it, her Booth… a terrorist? Someone must have planted those bombs on him, forced him to do this. But the cops hadn’t found anything that indicated that.

They had found a note though, in her office, which had been spared by the fire.

 

_My dearest pumpkin_

 

_I always loved you. Everything was a lie, except my love for you._

_I really started to love you guys._

_I’m sorry I had to do this. I can’t explain, you wouldn’t understand._

 

_Kisses_

_Ahmed, the dead terrorist_

**Author's Note:**

> This was written together with my best friend, who doesn't have an account here. We had a lot of fun writing this.
> 
> We don't mean any disrespect! We're not racists and we love Bobo!  
> I don't remember which of us came up with the thought to combine Bones with Jeff Dunham's Ahmed, but we're both equally crazy.
> 
> edit 2016: this story is old, ridiculous and badly written, but I have fond memories of a summer in Italy with my best friend writing this. We thought it was bad even then, but we still loved it.


End file.
